At a loss for words

It's been a rough couple of days and it's been difficult to figure out exactly what to say on the blog to share with friends and anyone else who reads this.

Don't get me wrong. I love every child here. I have become attached to so many of them and have gotten to know each and every one of them so much better. If living here was just about the children, just hanging out and playing with kids, it would be such an easy road. But, sadly, there is a whole lot more to it than that and someone who hasn't lived here, cannot truly get it. Ever.

To sit here and write examples for you seems so silly, because as they come to mind, most of them will sound little and insignificant to you. There are many and when you put them all together, every day gets just a little bit more difficult. I was reminded last night, as I held my favorite little guy in my arms, why I am here. It isn't about their money issues, it isn't about the generator or the water, or any of the ridiculous things ... it is about helping provide better care for these children. It takes a lot of effort and a lot of constant reminders for me to get back to that fact. Last night, after I had already gone to bed, someone was at the door. Lexi went to open it and came running back to me, "mom, they need you!" My first thought was, "Oh, now what?" But when Marie-Joe came toward me with her arm around Mirloudes, I could tell something wasn't right. Mirloudes was in tears and burning up. She needed a mom. And I had the privaledge of being her mom last night. I gave her medicine, I gave her water, and I gave her love. THAT is what it is all about.